Oh my gosh, this is a “thing.” Younger men can be attracted to older women. Honestly, I didn’t know this until I became a young divorcée at 36, thrust back into the dating world.
After my first husband and I went our separate ways, the transition to shared custody, co-parenting and singlehood was difficult at best. It was a very lonely, dark time, and I was embarrassed to be single with two young kids.
Let’s just say I was not quite so “put together” as today. My wardrobe consisted purely of sweats and workout clothes. At warp speed, my kids’ hip Brazilian babysitter put me in skinny jeans and high heels, and I set out. It all started so innocently with Thursday dinners and quickly progressed to regular rounds of the dance club and bar circuit—sometimes while traveling—whenever the kids were away. I was clearly numbing the pain with alcohol and male attention.
Young and Naive to Older and Experienced
I started dating about three months after the divorce. Now remember, I had been out of the dating world for 18 years! To put myself back out there again mid-life was weird and here I was making my entrance feeling a lot older with more life experience behind me.
I didn’t expect attention to come from younger men; it was overwhelming. Wait, was I a cougar? I didn’t really care as long as men respected me. These guys were confident twentysomethings, some in their early 30s. When I would tell them I was 10 years older to deter them, for some reason it only brought younger guys closer. What was the allure? Was it my independence or maturity? Not wanting kids of their own? Genuine interest in me as a person?
Whatever their reasons, I happened to learn from my experiences socializing with younger men. I did date one sweet 24-year-old who taught me a lot about the dating world with no expectation for a serious relationship. Through him, I found out that instead of being immature and only interested in sex, younger men could be safe to be around, kind and respectful. But there are definite differences in dating someone younger—maturity level, interest or lack thereof in commitment, etc.—and important things to consider before you, too, venture down that path. Here’s a great article from Women’s Health to get you thinking.
I know dating younger men is not for everyone, but if you find yourself in a similar situation, don’t be afraid to give them a shot! Just make sure you know what it is that you want to get out of the experience so you can go in with confidence.
